Avengers Slumber Party
by The Seventh Avenger
Summary: It's a Friday night, and Tony Stark is bored. So naturally, he invites the rest of the team over for the most epic party known to man... a slumber party. And no one throws a party quite like Tony Stark. Video games, movies, alcohol... But what happens when Fury shows up? But the real question is, will anyone get any sleep?
1. Tony Stark Gets Bored

**So this is my first fanfic EVER, so please be nice! (*puppy dog eyes*)**

**Basically, this is based off another fanfic I read, so shoutout to Melting Angels! I loved your stories!**

**Anyway, this is a weird kind of story that just popped into my head. I'll try to keep everyone in-character… until they get drunk. ;)**

**Rated T because I'm paranoid (and for alcohol). Shouldn't be any pairings, but we'll see!**

Tony Stark was bored.

He'd already tinkered on his suit, drunk some high-class scotch, and heck, he'd even blown up half the lab just to see Jarvis's reaction. What else was there to do?

He scratched his chin and sighed. Being a billionaire could be incredibly dull.

Pepper was off on some sort of business trip, working in D.C. Tony briefly considered flying out to join her (just for some fresh air) but pushed the idea out of his mind. Nah. He'd rather stay at home.

That was when it hit him. The perfect idea.

With a copyrighted Tony Stark laugh, he pulled out his slick smartphone (re-engineered to include Jarvis and to use, rather than a touchscreen, a holograph) and made a call.

Bruce Banner's somewhat annoyed voice answered, "Yes, Tony?"

"Hey, buddy. You free tonight?"

"Yeah."

Tony grinned. This was going to be fun.

**So what'd you think? Good? Bad? I'm open to comments!**

**I know this chapter was short, but I'm just trying to work out how posting works. Next chapter should be up soon!**


	2. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

**I actually have the next chapter typed up, but I'm having issues uploading. Should be up tomorrow!**

**So, so sorry!**


	3. The Avengers Play Some Games

**And now for chapter 2!**

**I'm going to sound like an idiot, but THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the reviews! The positive feedback does wonders for my poor, bruised ego!**

**So in this chapter, Tony gets the gang together for some gaming… and some drinks (of course). The game is Team Fortress 2, which in case you don't know is basically just two teams with different types of characters fighting each other.**

**Enjoy!**

**(By the way, I know the genre is humor, but in reality, I don't consider myself that funny. So please don't get your expectations too high.)**

Bruce pulled up to Stark Tower in an extremely battered-looking Honda Civic that had probably been in at least one good-sized crash. Tony stared in disbelief. "That's your ride? Banner, I gotta get you a Porsche."

Bruce shook his head. "Don't even think about it." He looked up. "So why am I here?'

Tony grinned. "I got bored. Come upstairs."

The two arrived to find Steve Rogers fiddling with a pencil, Clint Barton picking at his nails with a knife, Thor eating a Pop Tart (what else?), and Natasha Romanoff looking… bored.

Tony grinned. He pulled out some whiskey. "Who wants a drink?"

Everyone except Steve immediately got themselves a glass. Steve looked even more uncomfortable. "I don't drink much…"

Tony shrugged. "More for me."

After Tony deemed the alcohol levels to be "sufficiently drunk," he got out some sleek, Tony-Stark-approved laptops. "Team Fortress 2?"

Tony began to explain the controls as he handed out the computers. As soon as Steve opened his laptop, he yelled something along the lines of "Holy sh**!" and punched the screen.

There was a loud fizzle and an even louder yell (this time significantly higher and more feminine) as the computer shot off sparks and Steve jumped back, accidentally stepping – HARD – on Bruce's foot.

Bruce gave off a yell and began to shake.

Natasha began to scramble away, remembering what had happened last time. "Bruce…"

Tony muttered something about having to use the bathroom and disappeared.

Bruce was starting to turn green, but he appeared to have it under control. That is, until Thor appeared, yelling triumphantly, "I AM HERE, FRIENDS!" Unfortunately, he also happened to raise his hammer directly into Dr. Banner's face.

"RAAAAAAAAH!" Bruce screamed.

Everyone scrambled away, Steve reaching for his shield (which, of course was not there).

"HULK SMASH THOR!" the Hulk yelled.

"Now, friend Banner…" Thor began before he was sent flying across the room by a punch that would've shattered a mortal's chest.

Everyone scrambled for cover as the Hulk grabbed a couch and threw it out the window. Then there was a loud _clang_ as the Hulk crumpled to the ground, Tony holding a saucepan over his head.

"You… just…" Clint was hyperventilating. "Knocked the Hulk… out…"

"With a saucepan." Tony winked.

The Hulk's massive body suddenly shuddered and began to shrink, giving everyone in the room a wide-open view of some M-rated body parts.

"Aw, sick!" yelled Tony, falling over his feet as he fell to the ground. Steve turned beet red, and Thor covered his eyes. Clint collapsed to the floor laughing. Natasha was the only one unaffected. "You guys never seen male genitalia before?" she said sarcastically, inducing several more drunk fits of laughter. At last, Tony managed to find a cushion which was strategically placed to censor Bruce. Tony grinned. "He's gonna die when he wakes up."

After that incident, Tony returned to explaining the game to his friends. At last, they got started. It was Clint, Tony, and Steve versus Natasha and Thor (and some random people who happened to be online). Steve picked (what else) the Soldier, Natasha (what else) the Spy, Tony the Engineer, Clint the Sniper, and Thor…

"Medic?" Tony demanded.

"I like the man in white," Thor said, nodding his approval.

At last, they got started.

Tony immediately got set building a sentry, while Clint disappeared into a sniper hideout. Steve rocket-jumped (surprisingly well) and set about hunting down Thor, who was shooting syringes everywhere and yelling, "DIE YOU PUNY HUMANS!"

"Hah!" Tony said, finishing his sentry, until he was backstabbed by Natasha. "NOOOOO! STUPID SPY!"

Natasha laughed as she went off to find another victim.

Steve had managed to blow off Thor's head before falling off a building and killing himself. "What? What did I do?" he demanded.

Tony had respawned and was focused on killing Natasha, which he managed with a well-placed shot. "Yes! I have killed the spy!" he cried triumphantly.

Natasha immediately grabbed Tony in a chokehold, effectively knocking both to the floor. The rest of the Avengers could care less and continued playing, leaving it to the two to figure out their problems.

Of course, Bruce picked that moment to wake up. "Why am I naked?"

Everyone busted out laughing, convincing Natasha to stop strangling Tony and instead smoothly backstab Clint, causing his character to, with beautiful comedic timing, fall off the building and land on Thor's head, causing him to die (again).

"Nat!" Clint protested.

She smirked. "Suck it up, honey."

**So what did you think? Probably not very funny, but I hope it was at least mildly entertaining.**


	4. The Avengers Disassemble (Their Wits)

**And now, the next epic chapter in the equally-or-more epic slumber party of the Avengers!**

**Thanks so much for the reviews and support. I wasn't planning to write this chapter today, but I've decided you guys would probably like another chapter, especially since I might not be able to write for a few days… unless we have a snow day tomorrow! XD**

**Shoutout to movielover123456… Believe it or not, I have been planning a Truth or Dare chapter. But I want to wait until everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) in the story is drunk. Because it's more fun that way! So hopefully that chapter will be up in the next week or so.**

**By the way, I know I said I'd try to keep the characters in character, but hey, the alcohol's flowing and everyone loves to make fun of Thor. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

After finishing up some Team Fortress 2 (and finishing up a few more bottles of hard liquor), the team decided to venture out of their comfort zone and sing some karaoke. (Well, to be honest, Tony had simply decided that it would be hilarious to watch his teammates make fools of themselves, and, excluding Steve, all had been too incoherent to disagree.)

Tony had Jarvis set up the karaoke as he downed another shot of whiskey. "Tony," asked Steve, extremely concerned for his almost-but-not-really-you-were-forced-upon-my-care-friend, "don't you think that two bottles of scotch and three shots of whiskey are really unhealthy?"

"Mah frieeeend," Tony slurred, "alcohol's yah buuuuddy..." He promptly collapsed in a pile reeking of 50% alcohol.

Steve shook his head in disapproval. "About time. That stuff would kill a horse."

Bruce, wobbling a little on his feet, slapped Steve on the back and managed to get out, "Give him an hour. Tony can handle his liquuuuor…" The doctor stumbled and crashed into a table, breaking a $2,500 vase Pepper had made Tony promise to keep safe. "Oops," Bruce said before entering a further stage alcohol-induced stupor. In other words, he passed out.

Thor, however, seemed almost completely unaffected. "GOOD COMPANIONS! WHY DO YOU NOT STAND AND FACE THE MEAD WITH ME?" he yelled, his voice slightly louder than normal and his face a bit ruddier. "FRIEND TONY! WAKE UP AND GIVE ME SOME MORE RUM!"

"Sir," Jarvis's voice cut in, "I have configured the set."

"Um, thanks," Steve replied, still spooked by the disembodied voice. He liked to _see_ who he was talking to. Then he glanced at Tony's open-mouthed, drooling face. _Well, maybe not __**always**__ see who he was talking to… Tony wasn't exactly very attractive in that position._

Thor took the microphone and looked at it in confusion. "WHAT IS THIS STRANGE WEAPON?" he yelled.

Steve backed away. "No, Thor. That's a microphone." He explained the concept of karaoke to the somewhat confused god.

Meanwhile, Clint was shooting arrows with plungers on the end (from who knows where), making a funny noise along the lines of, "Heh heh heh" every time one made contact. He had already hit Tony on the forehead, which would probably leave a strange mark when the man woke up. There was also one on top of Tony's no-no square, which Steve assumed would be excruciatingly painful to remove.

It was quite amazing how accurate the Hawk was, considering he was drunk as a skunk.

Steve, having refused all but one drink, surveyed his surroundings with dismay. Natasha, her ordinarily perfect hair a mess, was slumped against the wall, mouth open, drool running down her chin. Clint had ran out of arrows and was now drunkenly wrestling Thor, who seemed more intoxicated at this point and was trying to poke Clint in the eye. Bruce was still passed out by the table, and Tony? Tony had a plunger on his… for lack of an appropriate word, his nether region. Tony was out of the picture.

Steve sighed. Well, he might as well get some sleep. Hopefully, in the morning _someone_ would get that mess cleaned up. The Captain, glancing at his disassembled team, shook his head and went to sleep on the couch.

As long as he didn't have to clean up someone's bodily fluid, he was happy.

**Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?**

**Non-Avengers movie references! Did you find them?**

**Sorry to everyone who thought the Avengers were going to sing in this chapter… I thought so too, but my Muse thought differently. Next chapter, expect some bad singing (and more drinks).**

**Cheers!**


	5. The Avengers Get Funky (In Several Ways)

**I'm back! Sorry for not posting for a few days – it's been a busy week. Hopefully, if you keep up with my writing (or what I plan to write), you'll find that I'll probably have days where I don't write at all.**

**So, I've unofficially-officially decided to write a Truth or Dare chapter coming up, and I'm open to suggestions. Review with a truth or a dare!**

**This chapter is the long-awaited (at least by me) karaoke chapter. And it is by no means the only karaoke chapter I have to write! If you have a suggestion, review! Depending on how many I get, I may write a karaoke part 2.**

**In case you haven't noticed, I may switch back and forth between several characters viewpoints, depending on whose point of view better matches the tone of the writing. Hopefully that doesn't bother anyone!**

**Enjoy!**

Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America or the babysitter of his five drunk friends, was starting to wake up.

Through a hazy fog of sleep, he noticed a heavy weight lying on top of him. Had one of the others played some sort of trick on him? Not yet ready to open his eyes, Steve shifted with his eyes still shut, only to feel something suspiciously like an arm fall across his face. Then a hand slid down to hold his chin, and someone muttered, "Pepper, stop moving…"

Pepper?

Steve opened his eyes just as Tony Stark planted a sloppy, smelly kiss on the soldier's mouth.

"GAAAH!" Steve yelled, throwing out a punch and bruising his fist on Tony's arc reactor. Tony flew across the room, hitting a wall and crumpling to the floor. Steve ran his hands over his mouth repeatedly, trying to forget what had just happened and erase the taste of alcohol from his lips.

Tony, now fully awake, looked around him, confused. "What? What just happened?"

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED? YOU KISSED ME, YOU IDIOT!" Steve shrieked. He ran to the sink and rinsed out his mouth, still disgusted. Bruce, who had quietly appeared when the yelling began and was now trying to conceal his laughter, handed Steve a plastic bottle of clear liquid to wash out his mouth. Steve took a huge swig only to gag as the alcohol slid down his throat. "TONYI'MGONNAKILLYOUJUSTWAITUNTILIG ETMYHANDSONYOU-"

"You know you want to," smirked the billionaire.

"Doesn't this bother you at all?" demanded the Captain.

Tony shrugged. "I don't remember anything. Besides, what makes you think I haven't kissed a man before?" Then he blanched. "I mean… it was like a drunken, heat of the moment thing…"

Steve shook his head. "I don't want to know."

"Steve." Tony's voice suddenly sounded a little worried. "Steve, you've got a… a…"

"What?" The supersoldier looked in the mirror to find a very suspicious bruise on his neck. "TONY STARK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!"

It took a lot of cajoling to cause Steve to calm down, but it took even more explaining to a confused Thor that no, just because Tony kissed Steve didn't mean they were in love, and no, it was not "one of those Midgardian displays of affection" to kiss your best friends, and no, it was DEFINITELY not okay for Thor to kiss Steve as well to show their brotherhood…

Steve, who had by now somewhat relaxed, found that he kind of craved some of whatever Bruce had given him. So he somewhat shyly asked the doctor what the drink had been. Dr. Banner was not fooled by Steve's 'curiosity' and, grinning, gleefully handed him a whole bottle of the drink.

This triggered amazed gasps and, not surprisingly, a few more drinking rounds. Before long, everyone – and this time, it really was everyone – was having difficulty walking. Especially Tony, who was forced to move with a waddle (it really _had_ hurt to pull that plunger off).

Jarvis then patiently interrupted to say that the karaoke was still set up, if anyone was still interested. Tony, with a messy grin, led them all back to the room and offered to go first.

The song Tony picked was "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO. As the beat started, he grinned maniacally.

"_Yeah, yeah,_

_When I walk on by,_

_Girls be looking like d***, he fly_," Tony sang, winking at Natasha, who rolled her eyes.

_I pimp to the beat,_

_Walking down the street in my new lafreak, yeah,_

_This is how I roll,_

_Animal prints, pants outta control_," Tony continued, slapping his butt dramatically. The other Avengers were falling over themselves with laughter, Steve and Thor very confused but entertained by Tony's out-of-tune singing and unusual dance moves.

The laughter got so loud that half of Tony's song was covered up, but the Avengers all heard, very clearly,

"_I got passion in my pants, and I ain't afraid to show it_!" Tony cried, turning around and beginning to pull down his pants.

"NO! DON'T DO IT!" was the overwhelming response, and, slightly disappointed, Tony turned back around.

"_Yeah, when I'm at the mall,_

_Security just can't fight them off,_

_And when I'm at the beach,_

_I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks_!" Tony didn't wait for permission this time, pulling his pants clear down to his ankles, effectively mooning his stunned audience. Groans echoed through the hallway as they all tried to erase the sight from their memories.

At last, Tony got to the 'wiggles.' He laughed devilishly.

"_Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah_!" he belted, shaking his hips provocatively (still with his pants down. "_Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah_!"

Then he turned around and scarred everyone in the room for life. It didn't help that he was still shaking his hips.

At last, the song ended, and Tony stumbled away to the couch, neglecting to pull his pants back up.

Thor offered to go next to try, as he shouted, "THIS STRANGE MIDGARDIAN CUSTOM OF YOURS." The song Tony picked for him was "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake.

Thor, without thinking, began to sway to the music. Natasha choked on her vodka.

"_I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK_," Thor boomed, causing Tony to spurt out a mouthful of booze.

"_THEM OTHER BOYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT,_

_I THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL, WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK?_

_SO TURN AROUND AND I'LL PICK UP THE SLACK!_

_DIRTY BABE,_

_YOU SEE THESE SHACKLES,_

_BABY I'M YOUR SLAVE._" Steve flushed bright red at the reference, while the others laughed at his reaction.

Thor continued obliviously, "_I'LL LET YOU WHIP ME IF I MISBEHAVE,_

_IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE MAKES ME FEEL THIS WAY_!"

Somehow, the extremely out-of-tune god of thunder struggled through the song and finished triumphantly, completely ignorant of any of the meanings of the lyrics or of the fact that the team was laughing like crazy. Tony, in fact, had tears streaming down his face.

Thor grinned. "I was very good, wasn't I?"

"Yes," choked out Tony, red in the face. "Simply amazing."

**Tada! Hope you enjoyed!**


	6. The Avengers --- Watch a Movie?

**Hello everyone!**

**I'm postponing the Truth or Dare chapter to see if I get any suggestions. Also, I think Truth or Dare works better as either a late-late night thing or an early-early morning thing, so that chapter should be coming up soon! Review with suggestions!**

**In this chapter, the Avengers watch a movie. And what better movie to watch than "Dodgeball?" Enjoy!**

Tony demanded that Jarvis put a movie on, and the voice, sounding displeased at his creator's drunkenness, asked for a suggestion.

"Dodgeball!" Natasha cheered.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"What?" She shrugged. "It's a good movie."

"Why not. Jarvis, put it on," Tony said, downing another shot.

"Yes, sir. Would you like me to air the Hangover as well?" Jarvis asked sarcastically.

Tony frowned, his slowed mind unable to process the joke. "What? No, no, Dodgeball is fine."

As the movie started up, Thor gazed in wonder at the screen. "HELLO, MIDGARDIANS!" he called out. When none of the actors replied, he frowned and yelled, "WHY WILL YOU NOT SPEAK TO ME?"

Bruce rushed to explain before Thor decided to blow up the screen with Mjolnir. Meanwhile, Steve gaped at the brilliant colors. "What happened to black-and-white?" he demanded. Tony rolled his bloodshot eyes.

No one bothered to explain.

After all, it wasn't like Steve was threatening to blow up the movie.

*** O * O * O * O * O * O**

The team watched, transfixed, as the movie rolled on by. Thor had gotten over the 'OFFENSIVE MIDGARDIAN SILENCE,' as he called it, and was now deeply engrossed in the events of the film. Steve had seen movies before, but he was thoroughly enjoying the color. Not so much the jokes.

The two of them laughed at the wrong parts and didn't understand the funniest jokes. At least, not at first.

_Patches O'Houlihan: Is it really necessary for me to drink my own urine?_

_Peter LaFleur: Probably not._

_Patches: No. But I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste._

The entire team cracked up. Natasha was literally rolling on the floor, Tony was choking on his liquor, Bruce laughed until his sides ached, Steve slapped his thigh in a really old-fashioned manner, Clint gripped the couch until his knuckles turned white, and Thor let loose with a booming laughter than shook the screen.

They watched as Peter tried to convince Kate Veatch to join the team.

_Peter: Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are._

Steve promptly choked on his drink. Unfortunately for him, he understood that one.

At last, the Average Joes worked their way to Las Vegas.

_Owen: I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom… go to the drink… in the bathroom._

_Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands._

The room immediately exploded into laughter. Natasha writhed on the ground as Steve panted out that he couldn't breathe. Tony was laid out on his back guffawing. Thor was laughing in an unsure way, confused as to just what was so funny. Clint and Bruce were wiping their eyes repeatedly and slapping each other on the back.

At the end of the movie, the team cheered when Peter defeated White in sudden death. The room grew quiet as they learned that Peter had sold Average Joe's Gym, but they quickly erupted in more cheering as they learned about the bet Peter had made.

Then came a really awkward part (at least for Steve).

Kate kissed Joyce.

Steve shuddered as it happened, and when Kate kissed Peter, the captain was even more disturbed. "That is _not_ okay!" he repeated over and over again, as the rest of the team guffawed at his reaction.

"Wake up, Capsicle," sniggered Tony. "This is the 21st century."

Steve shook his head, unnerved. It had been a most scarring night for him.

And it wasn't even 4:00 in the morning yet.

**BAM!**

**Epic epicness.**

**Or maybe not.**

**Please review! I need Truth or Dare ideas!**

**Until next time!**


	7. The Avengers Get Ready

**Hello, fellow Fanfictioners!**

**Sorry that I haven't updated in so long – I've been SO INCREDIBLY busy. Yes, I know, I know, that's no excuse. It's been two and a half weeks, for heaven's sake.**

**But anyway, I was also giving this story some time to accumulate some Truth or Dare suggestions. By the way, shoutout to kimbee for the great ideas! You should recognize some of the dares in this story ;).**

**So here it is at last – the epic introduction to the epic Truth or Dare of our favorite superheroes! (At least, my favorite superheroes…) This will be a short little chapter – look for the next chapter up today or tomorrow!**

**Enjoy!**

"So," declared Tony with a belch. "Who's up for the best game known to mankind?"

"Chess?" asked Steve, thoroughly confused.

"No, stupid," Clint retorted, a beer bottle in one hand and a champagne glass in the other. "He's talking about Spin the Bottle."

"That would be interesting," agreed Tony, "but considering we have a five to one ratio of boys to girls, I get the feeling one of us would be enjoying ourselves a lot more than everyone else."

"Who? You?" asked Bruce, earning himself an elbow to the ribs (well, to the general area – Tony was having issues with his motor skills.)

"No, stupids," Tony said disapprovingly. "Natasha." Then he frowned. "Wait, what was I asking? Oh, right! No, stupids," he repeated, "I'm talking about Truth or Dare."

A strange noise along the lines of "Yeay!" (like a drunken mixture of yes and yay) found its way through the room.

**So what did you think?**

**Let me know if you want the Avengers to play Spin the Bottle! That would involve some awkward guy-on-guy kisses, so I'll think about it… Plus, it's getting late/early morning, so the Avengers Slumber Party will be over soon… ;(… If I get enough support, though, I may write a sequel!**

**But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm not even done yet with this fanfic, so fear not!**


	8. The Avengers Have Some Fun

**Truth or Dare time!**

**Trying to keep my A/N short, in case you noticed. Don't want to be writing novels or anything in the intro…**

**So with that, I give you the long-awaited (hopefully) Truth or Dare game of the Avengers slumber party!**

As light began to filter in through the windows, the gang settled in a circle almost without thinking. Tony's alcoholic past meant that he was recovering a little faster than most from his excessive drinking, yet his mind was still fuzzy. Steve's high metabolism meant that he was nearly completely sober, but he kept taking swigs from the bottle anyway. Natasha had a pretty high metabolism as well, but the incredible amounts of liquor she had consumed meant that she was still pretty drunk. Thor, being a god accustomed to mead, was in good shape to be back to normal by morning. Bruce was still pretty confused, and Clint was not even close to ordinary.

Tony assessed his companions with a frown. "Guys! What's with the alert faces? WE MUST DRINK MORE!"

Natasha and Tony challenged Thor to a drinking contest, and as they guzzled alcohol, Thor bellowed, "MAN OF IRON, GIVE ME SOME MORE MEAD!"

Thor won.

After a couple rounds of drink-swigging, Tony decided that everyone was drunk enough for what he assumed would be the highlight of the night. With an evil grin, he asked, "Truth or Dare, anyone?"

After explaining the game to Steve and Thor, the group was all set. "Okay, Steve," Tony said, starting it off. "Truth or dare?"

The super-soldier hesitated, thinking deeply. Half a minute had passed before he finally decided, after much prodding and annoyed comments from the rest of the Avengers, "Truth."

Tony smirked. "Describe the best night you ever had with a woman."

Steve visibly gulped. "I, ah…"

"You can chicken out," Clint suggested.

Steve grew red. "I've never…"

Tony fell over laughing. "Seriously? I can see that in the tabloids…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Steve Rogers…" Tony breathed in deeply. "THE 90-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN!"

The team cracked up, except for Steve, who pleaded over and over, "Guys, it's not _that_ funny!"

At last, they settled down. "Okay, Steve, your turn," Natasha prodded.

Steve considered his choices. "Bruce… Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Um… lick Thor's foot."

Tony groaned. "Oh, come on, that's so unoriginal." He thought about it. "Kiss Thor on the lips. Then lick his nose."

Bruce rolled his eyes. Thor was occupied with opening a bottle of mead and hadn't noticed the exchange, so Bruce scuttled over and pecked him on the lips. Before he could complete the second part of the dare, Thor ran away, booming, "Friend Banner, I do not want to kiss your lips!"

Tony burst out laughing. "Bruce, you have to kiss him for twenty seconds."

"That wasn't part of the original dare!"

"Fine, ten. Take it or leave it."

Bruce rolled his eyes again. "Thor, hold still." Then he strode over and, leaning over, planted a solid kiss on the other man's lips.

The group sat there, watching (and listening, with odd mixtures of horror, disgust, and a little bit of interest) as they held the kiss. Thor had stopped struggling and just looked confused, while Bruce had his eyes scrunched tight and was trying not to look. At last, they finished, and Bruce quickly licked the god's nose before pulling away and washing his mouth out with beer. "Happy?"

Tony was rolling on the floor with laughter. "Dude, I wish I had that on video!"

"Okay," Bruce growled. "My turn." He looked around him. "Tony." Payback time. "Truth or dare?"

The billionaire stroked his beard. "Give me a dare. I like to be adventurous," he added, with an overly suggestive wink at Natasha. She promptly kicked him where it hurts the most (which is harder than it sounds when both involved are sitting down).

Bruce ignored Tony's pained gasps and continued, "Go over onto the balcony, yell, 'Tony Stark presents the most wonderful sight you will ever see,' and moon them. Hold your pants down until at least one photo has been taken."

Tony shrugged. "I've done worse."

On that happy note, he stepped over to the balcony, hollered in capital letters, "TONY STARK PRESENTS THE MOST WONDERFUL SIGHT YOU WILL EVER SEE!" and pulled down his pants.

It was 4:00 in the morning, and yet miraculously, when Tony Stark's buttcheeks were involved, it took less than thirty seconds for the paparazzi to assemble outside of the window some thirty stories below, snapping grainy pictures of what was sure to be the next day's headline news.

Tony even graciously waved to the cameras before gracefully stepping back inside, his pants still not in place. Which gave the Avengers a very plain view of Tony's… nuts.

Fury chose that moment to break open the door, yelling, "What is going on –"

Fury saw Tony's genitals.

Fury's eye twitched.

Fury started yelling.

"PUT YOUR D***ED PANTS BACK ON, STARK!"

Tony winked and even wiggled his hips around a little before putting his clothes back on. "Hey, Captain Hook! Nice of you to show up. Wasn't expecting you. Knock next time, would you?"

Fury glowered at him. "Shut up, Stark, or I'll kick you so hard your children will be sterile."

Tony winced. "That's something you'd have to take up with Pepper."

"Good morn, Director Fury," Thor boomed. "Would you care to join us for this Midgardian game?"

"Truth or Dare," Clint added.

"No." Fury turned to leave, his black trenchcoat (how the heck did Fury have on a _trenchcoat_ at 4 in the morning?) billowing out behind him.

"Director," Natasha said quickly, "I think at the very least you should stay to supervise."

He paused.

"I mean," she continued, "we – some of us are very immature." This was followed by a distasteful look at Tony, who grinned and began to unzip his pants again. Steve jumped on him and pinned his arms down to prevent another eyeful of Tony's balls. Their drunken wrestling appeared more sensuous than spiteful, as Steve moved up and down trying to hold a wriggling Tony still…

Bruce coughed, and the two stopped, embarrassed. "You guys are worse than Internet por–"

"You see?" Natasha quickly added on. "Please stay, Director. Plus, I know Mr. Stark has a few extra bottles of that wine you enjoy, imported from France."

The Director sighed. "Children. Stark, give me a glass."

At last, they had all settled down. Fury was contentedly sipping some aged wine when Clint asked, very innocently, "Director, truth or dare?"

"None."

"Oh, but _please_…"

"No."

Stark elbowed the archer. "Just give him a few more glasses," he whispered with a smirk.

"Stark, I heard that."

"Sorry."

**Tada! More to come. Don't worry, kimbee, I haven't forgotten you!**

**Avengers Truth or Dare part 2 coming up… hopefully sometime this week and not three weeks from now… ;)**

**Until next time, dear readers!**


	9. The Avengers Make It Hot

**Hellooo!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! Loving the suggestions – will try to work them all in (shoutout to kimbee, pure-black-wings, and movielover123456!)**

**So hopefully you all will forgive me for the HUGE pause between chapters 6 and 7… To make up for that, I'm trying to update the last however-many-there-are chapters within the next few days or week or so… (I don't structure my stories… Whatever pops into my head gets written down…)**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

Now that Fury had settled in and the paparazzi helicopters had gone away (concluding that Tony Stark was not going to show off his 'masculine assets' in addition to his buttcheeks… if that's what you want to call them), the Avengers decided to resume their game.

Tony grinned at the others. "Let's spice this up a little." He drained the last of a bottle of champagne and placed the bottle on the floor.

"Stark," growled Fury, "as entertaining as it might be, I would appreciate it if kissing were not involved."

"Right. Because you're here solely for entertainment purposes," Tony said, looking innocently at the Director.

Fury glared back.

"Jeez, Furious, do you ever crack a smile?" Stark complained.

Fury glared back.

"Anyway," Tony continued, seemingly oblivious to the death stare Fury was giving him, "we'll still be playing Truth or Dare. It's just that now, whoever gives the truth or dare will spin the bottle to determine who gets it. Just to spice things up. And who knows? Maybe later, we'll get some smooching in," he finished with a sideways glance at Natasha.

She didn't hit him this time. She didn't have to. Fury had already punched Tony in the gut.

"Sounds good to me," Clint said, as Tony gasped for air. "Should make things a little more interesting."

Once Tony had recovered, he took a go at the bottle. As it spun, they all watched with trepidation until it pointed to…

Natasha.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare," she said immediately.

Tony pouted. "Aw, but Nat, I had a good truth question for you! Change your mind? Please?"

"No."

"Come _on_, why can't you just answer the question?" Then a grin crept across his face. "Oh, I see. You don't like talking about yourself, do you? Your past? Your life?" He looked over at Clint, who sat there stony-faced. "So I assume he'll take only dares, too?"

Natasha sat there, her face a mask of innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do, Natty-Nat-Nat –"

She punched Tony in the gut.

"GAAAAAAH! PEOPLE! I'M GOING TO HAVE A BRUISE THE SIZE OF THOR'S HEAD TOMORROW!" Tony screamed.

Natasha shrugged. "It would serve you right."

They all had to wait yet again as Tony took his time recovering. At last, he said, with yet another pout on his face, "Fine. Take a nice, five-minute long, ice cold shower. With your clothes on. And leave them on until we're done with the game."

Natasha stood up. "You forgot I'm from Russia? The cold doesn't bother me. When I was a little girl, I was told to stand outside with just a t-shirt and shorts on until I had learned my lesson. Apparently, it took me two hours to learn my lesson."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't mean it won't be entertaining." Then he sighed. "Fine. I'm changing it."

"You can't do that."

"Of course I can. I'm Tony Stark."

She rolled her eyes and sat back down. "Fine. Whatever. I'll still do it."

He smiled at her. "Yeah, I know. Which is why I want you to eat a spoonful of wasabi. In one bite."

She glared at him. "I hate spicy food."

Tony laughed. "YES! FINALLY FOUND THE WEAKNESS OF THE BLACK WIDOW!" Then he immediately covered his stomach.

Natasha resisted a strong urge to break his nose. "Just give me the spoon, Stark."

"So now you want to spoon? That's okay, too, as long as Birdman doesn't care…"

This time, it was Clint who punched Tony.

As Tony moaned, writhing on the floor and complaining that he was going to die from all of his bruises, Bruce went to the kitchen and found a tube of wasabi. He liberally applied wasabi to the spoon so that it overflowed before returning back to the group and offering it to Natasha.

She looked at it with distaste. Not one to refuse a dare, however, she took the spoon and quickly stuck it in her mouth.

It took less than two seconds for the effects to register. The usually composed Black Widow's eyes were the first to show signs of discomfort. They widened, and then her hands went up to her nose and mouth. Then she started screaming.

"IT BURNS!" she hollered through a mouthful of green goop, jumping up and running around. "OHMYGOODNESSITBURNSLIKENOTHI NGI'VEEVEREATENBEFOREANDI'VEEATENSCORPIONSANDSPIDERSAN DALLKINDSOFDISGUSTINGTHINGSA NDNOTHINGEVERYBURNEDTHISMUCH ORTASTEDTHISBADOHMYGOODNESSO HMYGOODNESSOHMYGOODNESS!"

Everyone busted out laughing. Fury's lips even twitched before he forced them back into a scowl. Clint, however, rushed over to Natasha's side. "Nat! Are you okay?"

"WHADDYATHINK?"

He winced. "Okay, sorry, stupid question. Just spit it out!"

"NNNOOO!"

Clint ran to the bar, grabbed an entire bottle of vodka, opened it as he ran back, and handed it to Natasha. She seized it and downed as much as she could in one gulp. For some reason, the alcohol seemed to work **(A/N: I'm not old enough to drink, so I wouldn't know the actual effect of alcohol on wasabi…)**, and Natasha calmed down enough to give Clint a hug. "Thanks," she slurred, downing some more.

"Yeah." Then he realized that everyone was staring. "What?" he said defensively.

Tony (as if he hadn't learned his lesson yet) made a heart with his fingers. "Aw, that's so sweet!"

They glowered at him and drew apart. "Shut up, Stark," Clint growled.

Thor grinned broadly at the two. "I am happy for you two! At last you admit your love!"

"No!" Clint protested quickly. "No, we're just friends, right, Nat?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. You guys aren't as sneaky as you think you are. I saw you kissing in the –"

He didn't finish his sentence, as two very angry assassins were staring him down. "Don't punch me," he shot back. "You really don't want to punch me."

No one denied it.

Natasha had calmed down enough to get back in the game, so she spun the bottle with more force than was necessary, glaring at Tony and hoping beyond hope that he would be the one she got to torture.

Unfortunately for her and luckily for him, the bottle pointed towards Thor.

Natasha sighed. "I'll take it easy on you, Thor. Just go take a shower with your clothes on and leave them on until we're done with the game."

"So unoriginal," sighed Tony dramatically. "Can't come up with anything on your own?" He was about to come up with a snarky comment about the IQ level of assassins when he decided not to, reminded by a sharp pang from his aching ribs.

Everyone present ignored him, and Thor stood up majestically. "I will do so, Lady Natasha," he announced grandly.

Giving each other winks and nudges, the rest of the Avengers followed, Fury trailing behind with a look on his face almost akin to excitement.

Thor stepped into Tony's grand shower, a large thing similar in size to a Jacuzzi. He frowned at the controls. "How do I turn this strange contraption on?" he demanded.

"Like this." Tony stepped forward and – thanks to a panel of buttons he used solely for entertainment purposes – jets of ice-cold water shot out.

Tony quickly backed away and closed the door as inside, Thor wailed out, "AAAAAAAAAHHH! FRIENDS! PLEASE HELP ME ESCAPE FROM THIS MENACE!" He pounded on the door, but Tony had locked it behind him (why he had a lock on his shower no one knew).

"Thor! It's okay!" Natasha called in quickly before the god decided to break the door open. "Just wait for five minutes, okay?"

"BUT LADY NATASHA, IT BUUUUUURNS! IT IS SOAKING INTO MY ARMOR! OH, MY BELOVED ARMOR, WHICH SO ACCENTS MY THIGHS…"

Steve made a small choking noise in the back of his throat. "Excuse me?"

"That is what I have been told by the women who follow me," Thor said naively, calmed down enough to speak in a normal voice (which meant it was still quite loud). "The women who ask for me to sign their body parts and who tell me that they like my hair and who have, in the past, followed me into my rooms at Stark Tower."

Tony made a similar choking noise. "Jarvis, how did these people get in?"

"Sir, Thor let them in."

Everyone facepalmed.

At last, five minutes later, Tony had Jarvis stop the water and let Thor out. Shivering and complaining excessively, the god of thunder trudged back to the living room, followed by six other people trying to avoid the puddles he was leaving on the ground.

**And there it is!**

**One or two more dares to come – I decided that this chapter was long enough as is.**


	10. The Avengers Finish Up With a BANG!

**Hello, everyone!**

**I know, I know, I'm an awful writer because I never update. And I know, I know, I was SUPPOSED to finish this fic the same week as chp. 9… In my defense, though, I was on vacation over spring break and didn't have access to Internet. Plus, I've been really busy!**

**So here is the last (*sniff) chapter of Avengers Slumber Party…**

**By the way, this chapter is maybe T+ for some more sexual references (though nothing too extreme, I hope…)**

**Avengerscrazygal, your ideas are AMAZING! I think I'm going to end up putting most of them into the (gasp) sequel so I didn't end up typing 20 pages or something. But thank you for the brilliant ideas! Definitely will do my best to put them to use… and hopefully do them justice.**

**AngelofMischief, LOVE the idea! It's going to be hard to work that into this chapter… so look out for it in the (double-gasp) sequel!**

**I know I said no pairings, but just for funsies, I'm throwing in some Stony.**

**Anyway, I'll stop talking now so we can all enjoy the last (*sniff) few moments of the Avengers Slumber Party…**

As Thor sat shivering in the corner, Tony passed him the bottle, and the god nudged it with his foot, shuddering too hard to do much else. Still, a little shove from Thor is a lot of force, and the bottle spun around and around before at last coming to a halt pointing to Steve.

Thor looked at the captain, who looked somewhat miserably back at him. "Captain? Truth or dare?"

The captain sighed. "Dare. I guess. Can't be worse than having you lot make fun of me."

Tony waved a beer bottle around, showing no signs of remorse. "That's your problem for not getting it on in the ninety years of your life."

Steve glared at him.

Thor was absentmindedly stroking his sodden locks of hair in thought. "Hmm…" Then Clint, with an evil look on his face, sidled up to the Norse god and whispered something in his ear. The man's eyes bugged. "Friend Clint! That would be scandalous!"

Everyone (except Steve, who was gnawing on his lip nervously) guffawed at Thor's shocked expression and choice of words. Clint whispered some more, and then Thor let loose with booming laughter. "Yes, I do think that would make friend Nick uncomfortable."

"WHAT?" Fury bellowed. "If you two are scheming against me, I will personally castrate the both of you!"

"Nicky," Tony inquired innocently, "why do all of your threats involve fertility?"

Eight and a half seconds later, Tony was unconscious on the floor, and the game had resumed.

Clint frowned. "But my dare doesn't work without Tony."

"Wait a second," Steve said with a frown, putting two and two together. "You want me to –"

Natasha stabbed Tony with a syringe filled with some sort of revitalizer, and with a start, the billionaire awoke. "What? What happened? Did Cap get tired of the jokes and take me on the floor? If so, then Mr. Rogers, you certainly have more of a hammer down there than I expected… I can't move…"

Steve turned scarlet. Seeing this reaction, Tony continued on with a smirk, "Though when I'm able to walk again, I'm sure you'd enjoy a swing of _my_ hammer. Let me tell you, it may not be supersoldier-serum enhanced, but boy, does that baby pack a punch –"

Steve did the honors of punching Tony in the jaw.

The billionaire was purple in a few different places at this point, and as he whined about all the pain some petulant superheroes could make, Thor said, "Friend Clint has requested that the Captain and the Man of Iron kiss full on the lips for five minutes."

Everyone's jaw dropped (except for Nick Fury, whose eyes just bulged a lot more than the others). Then everyone (excluding a beet-red Steve, a glaring Tony, and a stoic Fury, who was having difficulty keeping a straight face) burst into laughter.

"YES! YESYESYES OHMYGOODNESS YES!" Natasha cried.

Bruce wiped the corner of his eye. "Can I videotape this and send it out to all the screaming fangirls in the world? For that matter, can I sell this tape to a you-know-what company and make millions of dollars? I'm sure people of all genders would enjoy watching Captain America and Iron Man getting it on…"

"Dr. Banner," Fury cut in coldly, "if I so much as catch word of this incident hitting the Internet's restricted websites, I will personally cut off your fingers."

No one bothered to ask about the film industry.

Steve had by now collected himself enough to protest, "NO! Never!"

"Oh, can it, Captain," Natasha said icily. "If I can eat a spoonful of wasabi, you can pretend to like Tony for five minutes more than the rest of us."

"Can I chicken?" pleaded the poor Captain.

"No chickens allowed," admonished Clint. "No one else used one, are you really going to be a baby and be the only person?"

Now, Steve Rogers did not exactly have a very large ego. Nor was it so bruised that he would be willing (normally) to take on a stupid challenge at the consequence of looking bad. But for whatever the reason, when it comes to Truth or Dare, people tend to take looking weak a little more seriously.

Steve's face turned stony. (Pun completely intended.) There was a long moment of deliberation before at last he said quietly, "Fine."

Tony skipped over to him like a delighted schoolgirl and, before Steve could even steel himself or someone could get a timer out, launched himself at the other man and wrapped his arms around him. (Tony, by the way, was more drunk than he'd ever been in his life.)

This time, everyone's (and I mean everyone's) jaws dropped. Steve's certainly did, and by the manner of kissing, it meant that Tony's did too.

After a full minute of near silence (except for what sounded bizarrely like whispers of "help me" from Steve and, even more bizarrely, sounds of happiness from Tony), Clint blurted out, "Um, one minute done."

There was another awkward minute (in which Steve had given up and pushing Tony away and just sat still and took it) before Clint mumbled, "Two minutes done."

Steve sat there and took it for another solid minute (while Tony began to fall forward onto the other man's chest, less and less capable of coherent thought), during which Natasha had begun to fidget uncomfortably, Bruce had taken off his glasses (it made it less uncomfortable to watch), Clint had started polishing his arrows (obtained from who knew where), Thor was fiddling with his hair again, and Nick Fury's eye twitched repeatedly.

"Um… two minutes left," Clint said.

Steve had begun to hesitantly put his arms around Tony (more to hold him up than anything else – holding up a man nearly his body weight was less uncomfortable for a supersoldier than being fallen upon by a man kissing him feverishly), and by the time the fourth minute was up, his lips showed the slightest sign of movement.

"One minute left."

The movement became a little more pronounced, and by the end of the minute, the two were kissing like any ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend except… well… they were a) both male, and b) superheroes.

At this point, Bruce and Thor were both unashamedly averting their eyes, while Clint and Natasha winced from time to time but refused to look away for fear of looking weak. And Fury? Fury sat there like a stone (except for the occasional eye twitch).

At last, Clint choked out, "Okay, stop, just… please… stop," the two broke apart (slowly).

There was silence for a long time before Bruce groaned and said, "My eyes have lost their virginity."

"Okay," Tony said briskly (or as briskly as he could slur the words together, "what's next?" He winked lopsidedly at Steve and rubbed a hand through his now-tousled hair. "Next time you're bored, Captain, you're welcome to join me in my room."

Bruce groaned again. "And there go my ears."

Steve had recovered (somewhat) and, his face cherry-red, retorted, "In your dreams."

"No, I don't think we'll be dreaming in our time together. I think we'll be much too busy."

Steve turned even redder and chose not to reply.

Clint nudged him. "Spin the bottle."

What do you know, it landed on Tony.

"Tony," Steve said slowly. "Truth or dare?"

Tony belched. "Dare me, Cap."

"Um…"

Natasha saw her chance. She hurried over and whispered something in the captain's ear, who blushed a furious shade of red again. "Is that really necessary?" he asked sheepishly.

She gave an evil grin. "Absolutely."

Steve sighed. "Natasha, you say it."

"I'd be happy to." She turned to Tony with a glint in her eye. Suddenly, Tony looked a little more nervous.

"Tony," she said slowly, savoring each syllable. "I dare you to strip down and dance to 'I Will Survive.' While singing it."

He shrugged. "Easy enough."

"In Times Square."

Tony's jaw dropped. "What? Are you kidding me?"

At the same time, Fury stood up and shook his head. "NO! We are NOT having a press disaster just because Tony Stark couldn't give up a dare! Do you know what that would do to our reputation?"

Natasha shrugged indifferently. "He can go on his own. We'll just set up some video cameras and get some good entertainment out of it. Director, you have to admit, Tony deserves public humiliation for his rash deeds. It's just the right dose of medicine for a man with an ego his size," she added, with a distasteful look in his direction.

Tony shrugged. "What can I say? People love me."

"And," Natasha added, "it should repel enemies. I mean, who would want to fight someone doing that? It's just saying, 'Hello, I'm not someone you need to worry about.'"

"Excuse me?" Tony spluttered.

Fury, on the other hand, was stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose it makes sense…"

"Besides," she almost purred, "no one would expect anything else from playboy Tony Stark, right?" she asked, shooting a glance over at the man in question (who was making kissy faces at a red-faced Steve).

Fury actually cracked a smile. "Guess not."

"Okay then!" Natasha said a little too brightly. "Let's do it! Tony, go learn the words to the song. I'll set up the cameras." Then she was off and out the door.

They all sat there in stunned silence. "Can I please get back at her for this?" pleaded Tony.

Fury checked his watch. "Nope. It's almost 7, and you all need to report back to the Helicarrier at 8. I say this be the last dare. The epic finale, if you will."

Tony facepalmed. "Why do I have to be the epic finale?"

"I thought you enjoyed having the last word," Steve put in.

"Well, yeah, but I also enjoy my reputation!"

Natasha returned grinning widely. "I hope you learned that song well, Tony!" she chirped. "Because I got the media's attention!"

"WHAT?" bellowed Fury. "I told you not to instigate a media fiasco!"

"It wasn't my fault, Director," Natasha said innocently. "I just got some weird stares putting cameras up in Times Square, and I left as the cameras arrived. All purely coincidental."

Everyone facepalmed.

Tony steeled himself. "Well," he said, visibly mustering his strength, "if we're going to give the media a show, it might as well be a good one."

Thanks to his limo, Tony soon arrived at Times Square. (A quick-thinking Natasha had also placed video cameras in there to make sure Tony didn't chicken. How did she convince his butler? Well, let's say a little seduction from the Black Widow and some money works wonders…)

Being Times Square, the area was already busy enough. As soon as Tony Stark stepped out of his limo, however, an almost immediate reaction began. Waves of fangirls streamed towards him, and the press crowded closer to snap pictures and ask questions like, "Mr. Stark! Can you explain these pictures?" and "Mr. Stark! Who is the man in this image?" and "Mr. Stark! Is your behind really as attractive as it appears in these grainy photos?"

He held a hand up, and the crowd miraculously went silent. "Um," he began, so unlike his usual snarky speech, "so… I'm drunk?"

The crowd went wild.

He shook his head. "I mean… gah, I wasn't supposed to say that… I mean… Okay, let's just do this."

He snapped his fingers, and SHIELD personnel filed out to surround him and protect his health from desperate fangirls. At the same time, the ground he was standing on began to rise until he was ten feet off the ground (courtesy of SHIELD's new invention, a square that could rise in seconds). Everyone went silent.

Then "I Will Survive" began to blare over the speakers.

Screams of happy fangirls ensued, and a wave of flashing cameras made Tony wobble a little. Then the words began, and he reluctantly opened his mouth…

"At first I was afraid… I was petrified…" He turned beet red (a highly unusual occurrence that made Steve snicker back at the tower) while clasping his hands over his heart.

Exactly 23 fangirls fainted on the spot.

"Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…"

Another 12 fangirls fainted away.

"But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,

And I grew strong!" He bared a muscle, resulting in a high-pitched shriek from the audience. "And I learned how to get along…"

"AND SO YOU'RE BACK," he bellowed, ripping off his t-shirt. SHIELD employees became involved in the most violent game of Red Rover ever as literal waves of fangirls scrambled to try to get the t-shirt. Back at the tower, the entire room exploded into laughter, Clint laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. "FROM OUTER SPACE! I JUST WALKED IN TO FIND YOU HERE WITH THAT SAD LOOK UPON YOUR FACE!" he cried, pointing to the crowd, which was now clapping along.

"I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key," he said in a more mellow tone, wagging his finger at the front row. Ambulances were arriving to cart away all the unconscious fangirls. "If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me."

"Oh now GO!" he hollered, completely red in the face (from mortification or lack of oxygen or just too much alcohol, who knew at this point). "Walk out the door!" He pulled off his shoes. "Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore!" He pitched the shoes into the crowd, knocking out one unfortunate newswoman and breaking more than a few camera lenses. One girl picked up the shoe and inhaled the scent before promptly turning a slight shade of green and wobbling on her feet. She was run over by ten girls all trying to get an article of Tony Stark's clothing.

"Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble?" Tears were streaming down his face, and he choked out, "Did you think I'd lay down and die?"

"Oh no, not I! I will survive!" He even shook his hips a little, causing Fury to choke on his drink while Bruce turned red from laughter. "Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give," he sang, running his hands along his chest. More fainting. More laughing back at the tower. Natasha was literally rolling on the floor, gasping for breath.

"And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey!"

During the musical interlude, he danced around on his little square suggestively, even going as far as to wink at some members in the audience. SHIELD helicopters were dropping off reinforcements at the barrier to keep the agents from being overwhelmed by screaming women (and, to be honest, some men, but hey, we don't judge here).

"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart," he sang mournfully. "Just trying to mend the pieces of my broken heart…" Then he narrowed his eyes (Tony was really getting into this) and belted out as he stripped his socks off, "And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself… I used to cry," he said, wiping his streaming eyes with his socks before gagging at the smell, causing him to come in late for his next words, "but now I hold my head up high!" He tossed the socks into the crowd like stink bombs… but very, very welcomed stink bombs.

"And you see in me somebody new, I'm not that chained up little person," he called out as he undid his belt, "still in love with you!" He pulled it out of the loops and threw it to a screaming audience as he sang, "And so you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to be free…" He was undoing his pants button, and as his fly came down, Times Square echoed with the sirens of ambulances carting away women by the hundreds.

"But now I'm saving all my loving… For someone who's loving me!" And he pulled his pants down. The press was going crazy. The fangirls were choking. The Avengers were dying of laughter. "Oh, now go!" he said, flipping the crowd off, "Walk out the door! Just turn around now," and he did so, baring his nearly-naked hiney to the audience. "'Cause you're not welcome anymore!" He ripped off his pants and flung them to the audience. Unfortunately, they fell on a SHIELD agent's head, and the poor man had to use all of his skills to avoid being clobbered by fangirls.

"Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?" he demanded. "Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?" Tony fell down and stood back up with some difficulty as he sang, "Oh, no not I! I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive! I've got all my life to live," he screeched, slowly pulling on the band of his underpants, making his fans go insane. "And I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive… I will survive… hey, hey!" And he pulled off his underwear with a flourish.

Screams of ecstasy from the crowd intermingled with screams of disgust, and the cameras flashed incessantly.

Meanwhile, the Avengers sat there, stunned. Well, not really. They were all just laughing so hard that it was difficult to move. Even Fury was laughing, a sort of creepy bellow that made the others laugh even more. Natasha wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh, that was good."

Steve had a furious blush on his face, and he choked out, "I think I'm scarred… for life."

Thor grinned at his friends. "Friend Tony is a truly spectacular dancer!"

Fury guffawed so loudly, the windows shook.

A quick-thinking Bruce ran and turned the TV on. Every single news channel was playing a video of billionaire Tony Stark dancing in a way that only belonged in strip clubs, most definitely NOT in Times Square. The headline was, "Iron Man Compromised?" A live feed was playing next to a replay of the whole incident.

Meanwhile, Tony had started Gangnam-styling, spinning around and around and singing out loudly and just as off-key as before. Then a herd of police officers arrived, and someone shot him with a tranquilizer gun.

"Thank yooouuu, eveeerybooody…" he slurred, spinning around and around before falling off the square.

The crowd shrieked, and SHIELD agents flocked to catch him just as he threw up and spattered some fangirl with the contents of his stomach. She fainted happily (or maybe it was from the alcohol fumes?) as one agent signaled the helicopter, which swooped in to pick them up.

"I was beautiful, wasn't I?" Tony asked sleepily to the disgusted agent carrying him.

"I'll let you ask the Director," the agent said slyly.

Tony was dropped off at the tower, cleaned up and dressed by some SHIELD agents. He stumbled in (the tranquilizer hadn't worn off yet) and asked, "Heeellooo?"

All of the Avengers turned to look at him. There were two heartbeats of silence. Then everyone burst out into laughter.

Clint stood to give him a standing ovation, and the others quickly moved to join him. "That," the archer spluttered, "was just fantastic."

"I don't know about that," Steve said quickly, his blush quickly creeping up. "It was actually kind of disturbing."

Tony winked at him. "You know you enjoyed it, Cap'n."

Everyone laughed, even a more-than-slightly mortified Steve.

Tony wavered a little before crashing to the floor, passed out. No one bothered to break his fall. Which was a good thing, because he threw up again.

Fury wrinkled his nose as he checked his watch. "Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of glad I stayed to supervise. I mean," he added hastily, "without me, I'm sure you all would've thrown someone off the tower or something."

Clint blinked. "Well," he said with an evil grin, "there's always next time…"

**YAAAY!**

**I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm glad I FINALLY finished this fic… it is, after all, my first… More to come, now that I know that I can actually finish! (Even though I was really off schedule… completely missed the deadline, but whatever!)**

**The Gangnam Style dancing came from Friday's Tonight Show interview of Robert Downey, Jr. Apparently, he spent his birthday in South Korea and even did some dancing for them… Go look it up, you lot!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this 10 page chapter (!), but most of all, I hope you enjoyed the Avengers Slumber Party!**

**See you in the sequel!**


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